Kindergarten already? Say it aint so!

Today was very bittersweet.  I wanted to write a blog to express some of the feelings I felt today as my baby became a big girl officially.  I had a feeling I would cry, but I did not expect to bawl like a baby as the bus drove away. 

Emma was so excited!  This made me happy and I held back all my apprehension and tears so she would not see me upset.  I was the only mom who actually got on the bus to make sure everything was all gravy.  Yes, I am "THAT MOM."  Then as I turned around to walk away the tears started to flow.  I raced to my car and proceeded to follow the bus to the school where I parked along the street and raced out to watch her get off the bus.  Then I made sure she knew where to line up with her teacher.  As I walked away from the school the tears started a flowin' again.  I don't know if it's because I am 8 months pregnant and my hormones are raging, but this mama was a WRECK! 

Emma after getting off the bus at 

Wilson Elementary.

A lot of thoughts ran through my mind.  How did it go by this fast?   Would Emma be okay?  Did she miss me?  Was she going to cry?  I didn't want her to miss me. I just wanted her to be okay and make friends and have fun.  I came home to silence and realized even more how much I missed her.  I know I will get used to it, but for whatever reason, this transition seems hard for me.  

From birth we swaddle, cuddle and are continually trying to develop a closeness with our children only to have to "let go."  I know I can still cuddle her and play with her and spend time with her.  But I know that this stage of having to somewhat let go is just the first of many more to come.  But I don't want to talk about that right now.  Because cuddled up next to me right now is my Bug. 

When she got off the bus this afternoon, her eyes lit up as she yelled "mommy" and ran into my arms!  I felt so much joy and was so proud of her.  And I was so excited to go home and eat milk and cookies and talk about her first day at Kindergarten!

Bittersweet?  Yes indeed!  I think this afternoon when Emma ran off the bus might be second to the joy I felt when they placed her in my arms for the first time in the hospital.  I remember I held her close and kissed her warm forehead.  Never have I felt so much joy and love in my entire life.  

Baby Bug.